True Love Story, Happy Endings
Short Sails, Tales From Sails

I Need to Do This Because I Deserve to Be Happy!

It’s been days since I’ve been holding on to these words. I didn’t understand how to say them, who would be the right one to listen to it and understand them. With such heavy words, I go to work.

I come back with the same heavy carriage on my way back to home. “Oh my God! This is so frustrating.” I slammed the door behind me, threw my bag on the floor and crawled down to the corner of my room. Tears started rolling down my eyes before I even knew it. Those tears were filled with frustration, anger, guilt, regret and so many more feelings which couldn’t be expressed in words.

I felt like screaming my guts out,  but I couldn’t. I didn’t want anyone to hear me. I didn’t want anybody to listen to my voice. I didn’t want anybody to know how weak I am. The last time I showed my weakness to someone, it tore me apart. It tore me apart to the extent that I wasn’t able to breathe.

Devastated. Ruined. Shattered. I was at the mercy of someone who treated me and my feelings like garbage. I felt like a charity case. A dog on the latch. And it is still happening. I have always been a person with high self-esteem.

Right now I’m at a stage where I’m not able to protect my self-respect. I’m letting a non-deserving person hurt my self-esteem just because I love that person so much. I don’t know why it is this way.

The thought of surrendering to someone’s misbehaviour makes me hate myself. But I’ve realised that I can’t let this happen anymore. I know that this can’t continue forever. If this continues, I won’t be able to survive for much longer.

No matter how many good memories we’ve made together, I can’t hold on to them because the present is destroying me in a way which is making my soul irreparable. I’ll have to leave this place. I need to build myself back. I need to develop myself into a stronger person. I need to do this because I deserve to be happy.

Share The Journey

You may also like...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *